I was just told that DOGZPLOT is listed as #4 on DUOTROPE'S SWIFT LIST. Our reported response time is 2.6 days. Fuck. Who's been lying. I've never taken longer than 12 hours. Well, maybe once or twice.
Thanks to everyone who appreciates our swiftiness and reports it to DUOTROPE. I want to get down to minutes. 2.6 minutes.
I want to be the world's foremost Dr. Seuss scholar. I've discovered things. Private, mysterious, unbelievable things.