Friday, January 1, 2010

R.I.P. 2009

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS FOR 2010

Christy Call
Stretch more. Learn sign language. Go to the dentist.

Marc Schuster
I will spend less time talking about writing and more time writing.

Myfanwy Collins
I resolve to stop googling Jon and Kate Gosselin.

Kyle Minor
I resolve, in the year 2010, to finish my novel.

Cynthia Reeser
Procrastinate less, write more, and don't get screwed (in the negative sense of the word).

Dan Wickett
I have a long-standing resolution to not make any NY Resolutions.

Ashley Fallon
My resolution is to have my bikini body come summer!

Claudia Smith
I think I will resolve to stop doing stupid things, but the more I try to do that, the more stupider I seem to get.

Timmy Waldron
I resolve to drink more often, but less at a time.

Tracy Shields
My New Year's Resolution is to do everything in my power to get my Distribution money back

Sean Lovelace
I resolve to never skip out on motel bills/damage again (while on Ambien or on Tuesdays) and leave you in that uncomfortable/awkward situation, Sara.

Larina Warnock
Every year for many years, my resolution has been to finish writing the first draft of my novel. This year, my resolution is to finish revising the first draft of my novel and start querying agents by March.

Regan McGrory
I resolve to spend more time with Barry and less time with the governor.

Molly Gaudry
I resolve to work harder, write harder, love harder.

Drew Kalbach
I'm going to resolve to send out more work more frequently. Because I think I'm really lazy about that.

Howie Good
I will use whiskey only for gargling. I will argue that dogs are U.S. citizens, too. I will compare work to a strip search. I will stare at you as if you were someone else. I will call it war rather than armed conflict, and in my head, I will see myself spiraling down in orange flames. I will admire the dainty feet of a hugely fat woman. I will place birds like commas around the yard.

Peter Schwartz
My New Year's resolutions for the year 2010 are to: Work out like I'm in prison because who knows, someday I might be. Finally listen to my OBGYN's advice and really live "in the moment.” Enjoy and appreciate my time in Philly. Force people to publish me. Defeat Evil.

Kim Chinquee
I'm going to smile more and take up boxing.

Michael J. Bible
My resolution is to ignore the thoughts I have during the first 30 minutes after I wake up.

Simon A. Smith
My new years res is to lose some of my petty anger and find more happiness in small things, even in places where it has no damn business being.

Nicolle Elizabeth
Eat Carrots, Write Poems, Listen to Slayer. Stay Fly. Read until my eyes fall out. Write until I have no hands then keep writing. Quote Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure: "Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes!"

Jamie Jones
I resolve to not make convulsive and guttural noises when remembering embarrassing moments from my past.

Ben Tanzer
I resolve to fight for world peace, well that and finally achieve a 7-hour tantric orgasm like my hero and mentor Sting.

Sarah Sweeney
My resolution is to finish my book of essays in 2010, and only staying a little insane in the process. I'd also like to round out my list of abilities by perfecting a cherry pie recipe, if I can learn to bake first.

Heather Fowler
I resolve to take more pleasure where I find it--and look harder for its murmurs where I don't, and to attempt to find the good points about every person I meet and/or have to be near--because we all have bad traits, this much is true--but why waste my time on recognizing those?

Brandi Wells
This year I'd like to learn to pole dance. The way strippers grab the pole and swing around upside down and almost land on their heads. That's what I want to do, but with clothes on and maybe an extra sweater. I'm going to need someone to buy me that sweater though, since I don't own one.

Paula Bomer
A long time ago, I gave up on making resolutions, because I don't do well under pressure and because the disappointment in myself at never coming close to actually living out any of my resolutions was crushing. And yet, on New Year's Eve and Day, I live even more keenly with those things I try to live with every day- a supreme sense of awe and gratitude for the mystery which is our existence on this earth, and with a humble hope that I can show some kindness to my fellow souls, love my family with the love they deserve and fight off the despair which accompanies the knoweldge of our mortality that haunts us all.

Shellie Zacharia
I'm going to read more. Spend less time goofing around on the computer. And I'm going to crack open some cookbooks and learn some new recipes. Yeah! 2010!

Ryan W. Bradley
In years past I have resolved to have no resolutions, but I decided against douchebaggery, and hereby resolve to DO BETTER. If I do it, whatever it is, I want to do it better in 2010. From brushing my teeth, to writing stories, to massaging my wife's back. It's all going to be done better.

Donna D. Vitucci
Lessen the grieving, amp up the dreaming, and not let it all matter so much.

Daniel Wallace
To stop allowing college to interfere with the day's writing.

Matt Charles
To actually start, if not finish, writing a novel in 2010.

Jason Behrends
Be in control of my mind, body & spirit at all times. Better balance of all aspects of my life. Become a more active reader and listener. Sell more books!!!

Andrea Kneeland
My New Year's resolution is to get a passport and get the hell out of the country.

Laura Ellen Scott
My resolution is very boring--gonna finish writing a collection of spooky vsf, and see if anyone wants to read it!

Jereme Dean
INSERT CLEVER, WITTY OR SOMEWHAT PROFOUND STATEMENT FOR AN ARBITRARY DAY IN AN ARBITRARY YEAR IN AN ARBITRARY EXISTENCE HERE.

Amanda Nazario
Treat people with more respect. Wake up earlier in the morning. Stop complaining about money. Compliment the people I admire. Defend myself

Tracy Lee
My resolution: to judge myself less.

Suzanne Burns
My resolutions are to floss every day, apply lotion every night before bed, finish my novel by spring, let's see, try not to be a bitch.

Robert Swartwood
I will try to write every day. I will try to support more indie publishers and magazines. I will try at least once a month to read a book by an author I've never read before.

2 comments:

Molly Gaudry said...

I like Swartwood's: every month to read a new author. Sounds groovy. (I resolve to stop using the word "groovy.")

It was fun reading these. Thanks, Barry. :)

ddvitucci said...

so many clever people. if all these resolutions are fulfilled, 2010 and the world and literature will soar. however other things will hafta go down in flames to restore the cosmic balance.

ddv