Sunday, January 1, 2012


New Year's Eve 2011-2012, also known as the eve of the end of the world. What better place to spend it then NYC?

Feet were killing when we got there. Tired as fuck. Back hurt from carrying a heavy ass back pack all day. Legs hurting more than they should because I'm a lazy bastard. But all that aside. The night was pretty bad ass. Thousands and thousands of people. Maybe millions. Met lots of silly ass people. Surprising, lots of French folks. One of which had no trouble digging in her nose and rolling the boogers around on her fingers like no one noticed or gave a fuck, but I guess if she didn't why should we? French, Ukrainian, Korean, Indian, Japanese, Australian, everyone from everywhere but Manhattan.

People were pretty packed in by 8pm, too tight. Saw Drake for like 10 minutes. The policed barricaded us in then proceeded to push us all around like assholes, but whatever, it lead to maybe my favorite moment ever. The guy, pictured above, standing beside me, taps me on the shoulder, like "ay man, you mind if I take a piss right here?" "I don't know man, I don't want that shit splashing all over me." "No, I got this bottle and my penis hole is pretty small." "Alright, man, go ahead." So, my man, proceeds to piss in the bottle. Some people watching and giggling, some people turn away appalled. This one dude kept pretending to look away but turned his head every two seconds to see his dick. When he finished I asked him if I could get a pic with him holding the bottle. And he obliged. He seems too proud in the pic maybe, like a kid catching a first fish. Anyway, I was happy about it. He put the bottle in his pocket and his wife kept hitting him and stopped talking to him for maybe a half an hour. Awesome. 

Then shit got weird. The police decided to make everyone squeeze in even closer, so they pushed everyone back. Crowd wasn't feeling it. Lots of angry exchanges between civilians and cops. Then everyone started acting silly. People lighting weed up everywhere, everyone trying to smash through the barricades until they were snatched up. At least ten fights broke out just in our area. More cops came, then more cops, police dogs, screaming, chaos. Some lady passed out drunk and the ambulance came. Everyone clapped when she got back up. People breathing and sweating into other people.

Then, of course, someone tried squeezing in way too close and fell off the sidewalk into the crowd. People were falling over. Everyone starts pushing. Police yelling. People screaming back, pushing harder. People falling everywhere and cracking their heads. Arrests were made. Random threats made every few minutes. Everyone got squeezed in so tight, no one could move. Women were crying, pets were getting trampled, kids getting separated from their parents, people getting drug out of the crowd before/while fainting. No one could move. At some point I heard a girl yell, "haha, you're that guy who pissed in the bottle, awesome." Everyone's body parts were on someone else's. Every couple minutes women yelling for people to stop touching all up in their ass. One of them I felt particularly bad for was a 15 or 16 year old girl who was very nice and friendly but somehow got separated from her father and was smashed between six men and she was one of the females who kept yelling about her ass over and over. Trash piling up, broken bottles, more weed. More police. People yelling about their pockets getting picked. People squeezed even tighter. At some point my arm got pinned behind my back with no way to move it. People kept yelling that they see Lady Gaga. Silly shit.

Then, like magic, people started counting down and somehow, loosening up. People jumping up and down, screaming, noisemakers, counting down, ball dropping, fireworks, and the world made total fucking sense and it was 2012 and I loved life and everyone seemed glad for a solid two minutes.

Then it was time to clear out and it was as expected. People and police and trash and piss and vomit everywhere. People finding food and cabs and trouble and shit was real. All of this happening on every block and side street all over the city.

Everyone saw all this on TV, right? What? Just Carson Daly and Lady Gaga? No way? 

So, yeah, that was that. Glad I went, met some cool ass folks, but I'd never do that shit again... or would I? 


elizabeth ellen said...

sounds like an odd future concert. shoulda let andie go with you. next year.

pr said...

I cannot believe you went there and that picture is too much. You are nuts, Barry--in a good way.

sabrina said...

we did nye in nyc 2005-2006 and our hotel was in newark so we had to race to the last trains afterward. my daughter was 11 and we were in those barricades for 7 hours. it's a crazy scene but definitely something everyone should experience at least once in their life.